贺新郎.乳燕飞华屋 When a young swallow flies up the mansion

贺新郎.乳燕飞华屋

原作: 苏轼（11世纪北宋）

英译: 闵晓红(2023)

乳燕飞华屋，

悄无人、桐阴转午，

晚凉新浴。

手弄生绡白团扇，

扇手一时似玉。

渐困倚、孤眠清熟。

帘外谁来推绣户？

枉教人梦断瑶台曲。

又却是、风敲竹。

石榴半吐红巾蹙,（cù）

待浮花浪蕊都尽，

伴君幽独。

秾艳一枝细看取，

芳心千重似束。

又恐被、秋风惊绿。

若待得君来向此，

花前对酒不忍触。

共粉泪、两簌簌。(sù)

When a young swallow flies up the mansion

—to the tune of “The First Flight of the Young Swallow”

Chinese original: Su Shi

English version: Julia Min

When a young swallow flies up the mansion,

no one is there to see.

The parasol tree gathers its own noon-shadow; then

a lady steps from her bath into the cool of the evening.

Her hand, idle yet busy, waves a round fan of fine silk,

Both fan and hand are as jade, as poetry in motion.

Even so,

she slowly wearies, reclines and drifts on dream-wings.

But who is it, knocking beyond her brocade blinds?

Not him, just bamboo shadows shaking in the wind.

When spring’s bright petals and stamens fall away,

no one comes to soothe this loneliness, only

pomegranates, half-crowned, red scarves folded in.

Look closely at any glowing branch:

each bloom is heavy with yearning,

afraid to fall if startled by the autumn wind.

Yet still,

she holds on until the long-awaited appearance,

to raise a tearful toast to her own beauty, knowing too

this is her final crowning moment of blossoming.

Appreciation:

In China, the pomegranate symbolises passion, fertility, peace, and prosperity. In this sentimental ci poem, Su Shi adopts the voice of a lonely lady whose melancholy deepens as spring fades. The poem may have been composed during an intellectual gathering where musical courtesans performed new lyrics to pre-existing tunes—a popular practice in the Tang and Song Dynasties known as “writing new ci to old tunes.” Though superficially about a solitary beauty and flowers, such poems often carried deeper layers of meaning, expressing the writer’s personal or political sentiments. This piece is a fine example of that dual-theme tradition.

The hidden theme here could well be Su Shi’s growing disappointment with the Royal Court during a period of decline, which culminated in his banishment to Huizhou. According to Chen Gu in his book on famous people of the Song, Dongpo’s concubine Zhaoyun had the nickname “Liuhua” (i.e. Pomegranate Flower). She was the only one to follow him to Huizhou (a very desolate place then) after he was banished again at the age of 58 in 1094. Not only was she gifted in singing, but she was also praised for her strength as a loyal companion. Su Shi valued her dearly as a soul mate. She was perhaps the only comfort for Su Shi other than poetry, but not for long. The severe climate and living conditions of Huizhou took her away two years later. She was only 34.

FYI, this is Deepseek’s comment: “Julia Min's version is a poetic re-creation for the contemporary literary readership. She sacrifices formal constraints to build a sustained, atmospheric and psychological portrait that many argue captures the essence of Su Shi's emotional landscape—loneliness, latent desire, and the pathos of beauty in isolation—more fully for a modern audience.” “Her interpolations ("as poetry in motion," "final crowning moment") are not betrayals but amplifications—using the tools of modern English lyricism to build the precise aesthetic and emotional atmosphere that the original ci built with its own classical tools. She trusts her reader to navigate subtlety.” Do you agree? Let me know what you think.

Reference:

1. Blooming Alone in Winter by Gordon Osing, Julia Min and Huang Haipeng，published by the People's Publication House Henan Province in 1990 (《寒心未肯随春态》戈登.奥赛茵，闵晓红，黄海鹏) ("“To the Tune of Hexinglang” -- When the young swallow winged over the grand mansion,/No one was home to see, filling its own noon-shadow, the parasol tree. /Now from her bath at evening’s cool a lady comes./Her hand is idle if busy as her white, round silken fan, both seeming jade. /Even at this she gradually wearies, reclines, and passes into sleep. /But who’s that, at the outside curtain, knocking at her gate?/Nothing more than the wind shaking the bamboo together. //The red scarf folds of the half-bloomed pomegranate/Could comfort, Lady, your still loneliness./Look closely at any of her bright branches;/In each bloom’s fragrance is enfolded the heart of a girl,/Fearing only the dry winds of Autumn, that startle, leaving her green./If I delay until you come to this /I’ll not have heart to toast your weathered flower./Then two will weep together, hour by hour.")

2. 百度百科网站: 南宋陈鹄《耆旧续闻》录陆辰州语，说晁以道在看到东坡真迹后转告陆辰州说：苏轼有妾名朝云、榴花。朝云客死岭南，惟榴花独存，故苏词下阕专说榴花，并有“待浮花浪蕊都尽，伴君幽独”之语。

3. picture from Google；

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