洗儿戏作 A Joke for the Baptism of my Newborn

洗儿戏作

原作: 苏轼（字子瞻, 号东坡居士; 11世纪北宋）

英译: 闵晓红(2024.04)

人皆养子望聪明，

我被聪明误一生。

惟愿孩儿愚且鲁，

无灾无难到公卿。

A Joke for the Baptism of my Newborn

Chinese original: Su Shi (11th AC, social name 'Zizhan', art name 'Dongpo')

English version: Julia Min (Apr. 2024)

All parents want their sons to be clever,

yet my cleverness has wrecked me forever.

I pray this one be dull, be dense, even rude,

as good fortune favours dummies and fools.

Appreciation:

The Chinese Baby Baptism (xǐ'ér 洗儿) is a traditional ceremony where a newborn is bathed for the first time three days after birth. While most parents and relatives wish for their child to become handsome, intelligent, and wealthy, Su Shi wanted his son to be stupid and simple-minded for a smooth life. This poem reflects his feelings after 103 days in prison, followed by banishment to Huangzhou, where his fourth son was born in 1083.

He understood that cleverness could make one a victim of one's own ingenuity. The poem is a joke, but the laughter is bittersweet. It echoes Daoist wisdom — "The great sage appears foolish" — and also reminds me of Forrest Gump, where Mama says, "Stupid is as stupid does." In a world that punishes the sharp, the dull-witted sometimes survive the longest. That is Su Shi's hard-won truth, wrapped in a smile for his newborn.

The challenge in rendering this poem lies in preserving its ironic, self-mocking tone while keeping the language natural in English. Su Shi's original opens with a universal truth ("人皆养子望聪明") and then subverts it with personal bitterness ("我被聪明误一生"). The translation mirrors this structure: a flat statement followed by a colloquial, almost wry confession — "yet my cleverness has wrecked me forever." The repeated "be" in line three ("be dull, be dense, even rude") echoes the earnest "be clever" of line one, subtly hinting at performance rather than nature. The final line adopts a proverbial cadence — "good fortune favours dummies and fools" — to deliver the punchline with mock solemnity. Su Shi was joking, but only half. The translator's task is to let both halves show.

Reference:

1. Picture from Google search